I stand on the back porch after letting the dogs out and feel the cool spring breeze run through my long hair. Three months. That’s how long it has been since my last depressive episode, I think to myself. How naive of me to think that just because we’d finally found a good medication combination…
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Recent Suicides In The News
****TRIGGER WARNING**** If you need help and don’t want to reach out to someone you know, there are a number of hotlines you can call. Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273 TALK or text TALK to 741741 DrugRehab.com Hotline Phone: 855-789-9197 U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Veterans Crisis Line Phone: 800-273-8255 LGBT National Hotline Phone: 888-843-4564 Your…
There Is Hope
I’ve had a long decade. But specifically a long past 3 years. My bipolar has been tough to treat and I was nearly ready to just give it all up. I was frustrated, tired and mentally unstable. That is not a good combo. Then, when all seemed lost for good, my psychiatrist pulls out what…
Bi-polar and Anxiety: The Inside Edition
I have Bi-polar 2 (BPD-II) which in my case results mostly in depression and only occasionally with the slight manic episode. Even with my “mania”, it may only last a day or so where I’ll go on a cleaning or spending spurt before I quickly fall back into my depression. One of the bad things…
My Definition Of Suicide
Suicide has a lot of controversy around it and I think it is becuase there are so many different perceptions as to what it really is. As someone who has attempted suicide in multiple ways, I have my own thoughts as to what it is: “I think that to stand or sit there and go…
Dear Son, From Your Suicidal Mom
I have been off of my psych meds completely for over 2 weeks. My doctor weaned me off of them in order to start a new regimen. But, in order to begin this regimen the other meds had to be out of my system for 14 days to prevent blood pressure and heart issues. This…
Life And Relationships With Depression
Having depression is often like having this black cloud over you. It can follow you everywhere, insisting you isolate yourself rather than drench everyone else around you. It’s good at making me believe I’m just a burden. There are times when I feel bad to the core like a waste of space, and I lose that spark…
Holiday Miracles
On this last day of November, I’d like to share something I’m thankful for. This might be long, but hang with me. Many of you know I have a very strong mental health history. I suffer from bipolar depression, an eating disorder and severe anxiety. I like to advocate for Mental Health awareness as I…
The Invisibility of Invisibile Illnesses
I recently posted two pictures on Facebook. One was of me in the middle of a severe depressive episode. The other was when I was slightly manic- or you could say on a “good” day. Both of them included my children. “Can you tell the difference?”, I typed. There didn’t appear to be any difference…
How Times Change
A month ago I was in a horrible emotional and mental place. It was evident in my mood, my writing, my every day life. I was sleeping 16+ hours a day and barely functioning. I didn’t want to be alive. My psychiatrist and I have been working for months to find a medication that would…