To You: I’m not easy to live with. I’m not easy to be friends with. I’m not easy to love. I’m complicated. Mental illness has not been kind to me these last few years. Some days I’m clingy and dependent. Other days I’m distant and drive you away- as far away as I can. Some…
Tag: depression
To the Mom of a Chronically Ill Child
Dear Momma of a Chronically and Critically Ill Child, I’ve seen you in those hospital rooms. We’ve passed each other in hallways and silently ridden the elevators together to get a breath of fresh air while painfully stepping out of our child’s room. I’ve seen you hand your child off to surgeons, not knowing if you would…
How Am I? I Am In The Trenches.
I came home from church today ready for a nap. All morning I was fielding questions about how Mason’s procedure went and what our treatment options are. People hugged us and asked how we were doing. I don’t lie anymore. I don’t tell people I’m doing great. I don’t tell them I’m ok when I’m…
Parenting with Depression
There are days I feel like I don’t know how to be a parent with depression. It’s hard to hear your kids say things like “Mommy is always sick” or “Mommy is always at the doctor or in the hospital”, or the one that really stings “Mommy, why can’t you just get out of bed…
One Year Ago…
One year ago today I found myself in the ER being moved to the ICU. I had nearly lost my life from an intentional prescription drug overdose. I had a best friend who stepped in and saved my life. It’s hard to think of things to say about that night. I don’t remember that night…
The Importance Of An Accurate Diagnosis
I can’t even begin to explain to you how my world has changed in the last 3-4 months. Years- I struggled with chronic suicidal ideation. I had ruminating thoughts of death in my mind that I could not stop, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t get them to stop. I didn’t want them there….