Why do I want to die? At first, I began answering the question with bad memories and haunting thoughts: Because when I close my eyes I still felt the hands of a child molester crawling over my skin. Because the only thing I learned in elementary school was that a heart could be broken and no one…
Category: Uncategorized
Let them see my cape
We all fight battles. I fight anxiety, depression, bipolar and more. Some days I’m happy and loving and warm. Other days I’m distant, detached and cold. My children are now old enough to verbalize that they notice when mommy is “mean” or “grumpy”. That breaks my heart. They know mommy wrote a book about how…
HOPE Found
Book Review
This month, my book was reviewed on EDReferral.com. While they usually only review and promote books on eating disorders, they chose mine because of the topics surrounding co-occurring illnesses that I cover. This came from their newsletter: Books, Book Reviews and Other Educational Resources: BOOK REVIEW: The Girl Inside: Silent No More By Lindsay Ensor: Shame and…
A Perfect Description
Shame Chronicles II: At the Core (Guest Blog)
Today’s blog is written by guest blogger Ashleigh Barker. For years, the shame has been the quiet voice in the back of my mind: “You are not enough. You will never be enough. Why would you think you have worth with the smell of his skin still on your side?” Why are you worthy of…
Untitled Poem
***This is not authored by me*** Sexual assault in America is climbing to an all time high. If you have been affected, or are in danger, please contact someone. There are references at the end of this post. This poem was first published on Glasnost. When I was six years old, I gave my first blowjob….
Painting With Purpose
We must live for what today has to offer, not what yesterday has taken away. For those with mental illness this can be challenging, but every day is a new day, the slate is clean, the canvas blank just waiting for us to paint the story of our lives. Try and make the most of…
Bipolar II: The Ups and Downs
So BPII consists mainly of depressive episodes with a few, very mild “manic” episodes. This is me. I’m chronically depressed. My mood just hangs low. My baseline is dysthymic at best, but usually just below that. It’s how I’m chemically formed. Every once in a while, that already low mood plummets even further to a…
An Open Letter To My Readers
Dear Readers, When I developed this site and became an advocate for mental illness I declared that I would always be transparent. I would give you the good, bad and the ugly. I can’t write a book and stand tall and proud fighting against this stigma if I’m not open and honest. I can’t very…